Functional?

I was very happy with my findings on direct approaching during the day so I decided to test out the opposite and go functional. Now the thing with functional openers is they will work great every time but are hard as hell to transition with. With this in mind I decided to try out a technique I learned where you give a qualification statement in the hopes of force framing the girl to act a certain way.

The opener would go like this...

"Hey I only have a sec but do you know where X is?...(she answers) thank you, you know you're actually really friendly you must not be from this city!"

After that I could give value or take it however. The challenge? Do 20 sets with this. All my sets were during the day and every one was on my college campus.

I hate to say this but I found it didn't work well for me. The functional opener worked fine but as soon as I gave the qualification statement the interaction immediately felt forced. This wasn't true in ALL cases, and sometimes it worked and got a smile but not nearly enough. I played around with energy levels and tonality but was strict in keeping the same wording, even with the changes the usual response was an awkward "oh..uh...thanks"

However I did discover one INCREDIBLE functional opener that always seems to work and that's asking a girl for a cigarette...unfortunately I don't smoke lol.

I'm still a fan of just going in direct during the day...the only thing is that with direct it's 50/50. She either gets weirded out or else it's on like donkey kong, so might not be the most SOLID way but so far the most preferable.

As for going in functional?...well I haven't given up on it I suppose since it does open well but transitioning with a qualification statement didn't seem to work for me, even though I've seen it work for others. It could have very well been something to do with my delivery, but unless someone watches me, who does that well, I can't know.

Give Value

While I proved to myself that I have the balls and confidence to master the approach there's another aspect that needs to be added. Basically that with every approach I should be giving value as opposed to taking it. What I decided to do was go out and observe 5 situations where I could give value and do nothing and then observe 5 situations where I could give value and act upon it.

The idea is that it'll help train my mind to more easily recognize situations where I could give value and then once recognized help train myself to be someone who acts on it.

When I decided to do this task it seemed pretty simple and easy at first but I realized how hard it was to truly find a situation that I could give value to. I was like superman scouting the city but not finding any crime. However as I went about my day I did begin seeing things, even if they were pretty small, and then acted upon it. Ideally I'd like to take this to a larger scale but since I made the challenge for two days I used what I saw. Here's what happened.

The first thing I saw was a girl in a wheel chair struggling to get out of the row. I told myself that I'm just supposed to observe at first so did nothing, however she also got stuck trying to get out the door so I said "screw this" and helped her out. 1 observed, 1 demonstrated. The rest went as follows.

The four other times I observed opportunities to give value were...

1. A girl dropped her books in front of me which I didn't respond to

2. I noticed someone was walking around looking lost and realized I could give him directions

3. A guy was sitting around and seemed bored and I could have invited him to an event going on

4. A girl was struggling to carry some stuff for her dorm room and I could have offered to help

The four other times I acted on giving value were...

1. I helped a friend out with a sticking point he had in his game

2. I offered my last piece of gum to a guy standing next to me in line

3. I paid for my boys dinner while we were out last night

4. I met a local band and complimented on one of their songs and let them know I'd help out getting them noticed through some contacts I have

I also gave value many other times though to such as holding doors open, giving directions, and complimenting the girl who did my hair to her boss.

Overall I think this excercise was worth doing but it's definately something that needs to be taken to a deeper level and something that builds on itself. This is one challenge that needs to never truly stop.

Direct Confidence

Ok guys the first thing I noticed about all of game is that it all starts with how you feel on the inside. The key thing here being CONFIDENCE!

So what was the very first challenge for myself to become a true MPUA? 10 sets, during the day, on my college campus, going fully direct. Nothing short of that would push me to being the confident guy I know I could be.

Many guys advocate doing silly things like opening a set by doing push ups in front of them. This is good for building confidence it's true however you're able to hide behind the social mask of doing something silly. With direct opening you go in sincere and putting it all on the line....to me this is much scarier.

Here's what I said verbatim.

"Hey excuse me didn't mean to bother you but I'm kind of in a hurry since I'm late for my class. I just wanted to tell you something otherwise I'd be kicking myself all day. You are absolutely gorgeous and have this interesting look that I don't see here that often. (Introduce myself and get her name). What would be the best way to stay in touch with you?"

Now I went out onto my campus with the exact words written down on a little cheat sheet and I'm not going to lie...I was pretty scared. I was seeing reasons not to approach for every set and making excuses left and right. This was EXACTLY the type of fear that would get in my way if I saw my dream girl and wanted to approach immediately.

However after every set that walked by or that I passed up I became more and more angry with myself. Fear turned into cold resolve, and like a wriggling mass of jello, I walked up to my very first set and delivered the line. What happened?....

She looked scared as hell. The poor girl looked like she wanted to run away and her friend came and saved her. I noticed something though...I had instant state. Every single fear I had before was completely gone, better then that, I felt amazing! I go for set number 2 and again I get that fear response but I push past it and end up getting her facebook and an invite to a concert she does.

From then on every set I open becomes better then the last. I say the exact same line but now from a place of pure happiness and confidence. I go in relaxed and warm as opposed to my old jello ways. Next thing I know I'm having women blushing and giggiling giving me their number, one offers to be my spanish tutor, another asks me if I know any good parties this week.

The point of this challenge wasn't to master direct game, it was to develop confidence. However I seriously like direct game during the day now, it either has them run off and you dont waste your time or else it's instantly on within the first minute!

So final result? 10 sets, 2 nothing, 2 myspace/facebook, 7 phone numbers (one girl gave me her number and myspace)!

Gonna start challenge 2 tomorrow.

Psych's Progression to Mastery

I've decided if I'm gonna be teaching this stuff I need to really master it and take my game to a new level.

Last night I went out with a lot of community guys and felt really unmotivated, the fire and drive just wasn't there anymore. I realized it's because I've taken to much of a teacher role and not a student role anymore. Both need to be there for me since the student role is my drive and what pushes me to get better.

From now on I'm gonna go out and challenge myself to various things and record my progress here. We'll see where this takes me.