Alright so I'm still dedicating my challenges to opening until I have it DOWN. I'm already good in the club and bar scene so this is more for day game/college campus. Again what I accidently found out is how great opening direct is, and for day game it's what I'll always use, but with the college campus I have to keep in mind the idea of social circle game...and I don't want to be labeled the creepy pick up guy on campus. So with that said it's all about making functional and situational openers work here!
Now I've heard of guys talking about "forcing IOIs" and I've always done this to an extent. For example if I see a girl has her arms crossed I might uncross them for her, but I want to take this idea for opening as well. So how do I do it? By establishing EC, flashing a warm smile, and then having her reciprocate that smile. Once she mirrors me and smiles, which is the natural reaction for most people, she HAS to be nice to me because she already smiled. The mind follows the body type deal. By doing that I effectively turn every cold approach into a warm approach.
The hardest part about all this is establishing the EC though, girls of extreme beauty (or who think they're high value) go out of their way to avoid EC. It's tricky but still doable.
For this challenge I approached 10 women with the aim of forcing the IOI and making it a warm approach. The result? They were friendly EVERY time. However with my crappy luck each set I opened had a legitimate time constraint. On the way to class, walking into the elevator while I was walking out, interrupts from friends before I could demonstrate enough value and personality ect ect. However they DID open nicely which was the point. Also one of the girls was a seated set which I did number close and make plans with for this saturday, was also a cute blonde which for me is the holy grail down here in latina Miami.
Since doing this I'm noticing my opening skills getting sharper and easier, still adjusting to the whole "college game" idea though. Along with day game, which I've had some experience but never mastered like club game.
I'm going to still do some more challenges for myself on opening to come, until I feel truly confident that I can open any girl, anywhere, without fail or hesitation. Getting her to smile though BEFORE you open is definately money, and if she wont make EC...well you can still always do an old fashioned cold approach. ;)
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Functional?
I was very happy with my findings on direct approaching during the day so I decided to test out the opposite and go functional. Now the thing with functional openers is they will work great every time but are hard as hell to transition with. With this in mind I decided to try out a technique I learned where you give a qualification statement in the hopes of force framing the girl to act a certain way.
The opener would go like this...
"Hey I only have a sec but do you know where X is?...(she answers) thank you, you know you're actually really friendly you must not be from this city!"
After that I could give value or take it however. The challenge? Do 20 sets with this. All my sets were during the day and every one was on my college campus.
I hate to say this but I found it didn't work well for me. The functional opener worked fine but as soon as I gave the qualification statement the interaction immediately felt forced. This wasn't true in ALL cases, and sometimes it worked and got a smile but not nearly enough. I played around with energy levels and tonality but was strict in keeping the same wording, even with the changes the usual response was an awkward "oh..uh...thanks"
However I did discover one INCREDIBLE functional opener that always seems to work and that's asking a girl for a cigarette...unfortunately I don't smoke lol.
I'm still a fan of just going in direct during the day...the only thing is that with direct it's 50/50. She either gets weirded out or else it's on like donkey kong, so might not be the most SOLID way but so far the most preferable.
As for going in functional?...well I haven't given up on it I suppose since it does open well but transitioning with a qualification statement didn't seem to work for me, even though I've seen it work for others. It could have very well been something to do with my delivery, but unless someone watches me, who does that well, I can't know.
The opener would go like this...
"Hey I only have a sec but do you know where X is?...(she answers) thank you, you know you're actually really friendly you must not be from this city!"
After that I could give value or take it however. The challenge? Do 20 sets with this. All my sets were during the day and every one was on my college campus.
I hate to say this but I found it didn't work well for me. The functional opener worked fine but as soon as I gave the qualification statement the interaction immediately felt forced. This wasn't true in ALL cases, and sometimes it worked and got a smile but not nearly enough. I played around with energy levels and tonality but was strict in keeping the same wording, even with the changes the usual response was an awkward "oh..uh...thanks"
However I did discover one INCREDIBLE functional opener that always seems to work and that's asking a girl for a cigarette...unfortunately I don't smoke lol.
I'm still a fan of just going in direct during the day...the only thing is that with direct it's 50/50. She either gets weirded out or else it's on like donkey kong, so might not be the most SOLID way but so far the most preferable.
As for going in functional?...well I haven't given up on it I suppose since it does open well but transitioning with a qualification statement didn't seem to work for me, even though I've seen it work for others. It could have very well been something to do with my delivery, but unless someone watches me, who does that well, I can't know.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Give Value
While I proved to myself that I have the balls and confidence to master the approach there's another aspect that needs to be added. Basically that with every approach I should be giving value as opposed to taking it. What I decided to do was go out and observe 5 situations where I could give value and do nothing and then observe 5 situations where I could give value and act upon it.
The idea is that it'll help train my mind to more easily recognize situations where I could give value and then once recognized help train myself to be someone who acts on it.
When I decided to do this task it seemed pretty simple and easy at first but I realized how hard it was to truly find a situation that I could give value to. I was like superman scouting the city but not finding any crime. However as I went about my day I did begin seeing things, even if they were pretty small, and then acted upon it. Ideally I'd like to take this to a larger scale but since I made the challenge for two days I used what I saw. Here's what happened.
The first thing I saw was a girl in a wheel chair struggling to get out of the row. I told myself that I'm just supposed to observe at first so did nothing, however she also got stuck trying to get out the door so I said "screw this" and helped her out. 1 observed, 1 demonstrated. The rest went as follows.
The four other times I observed opportunities to give value were...
1. A girl dropped her books in front of me which I didn't respond to
2. I noticed someone was walking around looking lost and realized I could give him directions
3. A guy was sitting around and seemed bored and I could have invited him to an event going on
4. A girl was struggling to carry some stuff for her dorm room and I could have offered to help
The four other times I acted on giving value were...
1. I helped a friend out with a sticking point he had in his game
2. I offered my last piece of gum to a guy standing next to me in line
3. I paid for my boys dinner while we were out last night
4. I met a local band and complimented on one of their songs and let them know I'd help out getting them noticed through some contacts I have
I also gave value many other times though to such as holding doors open, giving directions, and complimenting the girl who did my hair to her boss.
Overall I think this excercise was worth doing but it's definately something that needs to be taken to a deeper level and something that builds on itself. This is one challenge that needs to never truly stop.
The idea is that it'll help train my mind to more easily recognize situations where I could give value and then once recognized help train myself to be someone who acts on it.
When I decided to do this task it seemed pretty simple and easy at first but I realized how hard it was to truly find a situation that I could give value to. I was like superman scouting the city but not finding any crime. However as I went about my day I did begin seeing things, even if they were pretty small, and then acted upon it. Ideally I'd like to take this to a larger scale but since I made the challenge for two days I used what I saw. Here's what happened.
The first thing I saw was a girl in a wheel chair struggling to get out of the row. I told myself that I'm just supposed to observe at first so did nothing, however she also got stuck trying to get out the door so I said "screw this" and helped her out. 1 observed, 1 demonstrated. The rest went as follows.
The four other times I observed opportunities to give value were...
1. A girl dropped her books in front of me which I didn't respond to
2. I noticed someone was walking around looking lost and realized I could give him directions
3. A guy was sitting around and seemed bored and I could have invited him to an event going on
4. A girl was struggling to carry some stuff for her dorm room and I could have offered to help
The four other times I acted on giving value were...
1. I helped a friend out with a sticking point he had in his game
2. I offered my last piece of gum to a guy standing next to me in line
3. I paid for my boys dinner while we were out last night
4. I met a local band and complimented on one of their songs and let them know I'd help out getting them noticed through some contacts I have
I also gave value many other times though to such as holding doors open, giving directions, and complimenting the girl who did my hair to her boss.
Overall I think this excercise was worth doing but it's definately something that needs to be taken to a deeper level and something that builds on itself. This is one challenge that needs to never truly stop.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Direct Confidence
Ok guys the first thing I noticed about all of game is that it all starts with how you feel on the inside. The key thing here being CONFIDENCE!
So what was the very first challenge for myself to become a true MPUA? 10 sets, during the day, on my college campus, going fully direct. Nothing short of that would push me to being the confident guy I know I could be.
Many guys advocate doing silly things like opening a set by doing push ups in front of them. This is good for building confidence it's true however you're able to hide behind the social mask of doing something silly. With direct opening you go in sincere and putting it all on the line....to me this is much scarier.
Here's what I said verbatim.
"Hey excuse me didn't mean to bother you but I'm kind of in a hurry since I'm late for my class. I just wanted to tell you something otherwise I'd be kicking myself all day. You are absolutely gorgeous and have this interesting look that I don't see here that often. (Introduce myself and get her name). What would be the best way to stay in touch with you?"
Now I went out onto my campus with the exact words written down on a little cheat sheet and I'm not going to lie...I was pretty scared. I was seeing reasons not to approach for every set and making excuses left and right. This was EXACTLY the type of fear that would get in my way if I saw my dream girl and wanted to approach immediately.
However after every set that walked by or that I passed up I became more and more angry with myself. Fear turned into cold resolve, and like a wriggling mass of jello, I walked up to my very first set and delivered the line. What happened?....
She looked scared as hell. The poor girl looked like she wanted to run away and her friend came and saved her. I noticed something though...I had instant state. Every single fear I had before was completely gone, better then that, I felt amazing! I go for set number 2 and again I get that fear response but I push past it and end up getting her facebook and an invite to a concert she does.
From then on every set I open becomes better then the last. I say the exact same line but now from a place of pure happiness and confidence. I go in relaxed and warm as opposed to my old jello ways. Next thing I know I'm having women blushing and giggiling giving me their number, one offers to be my spanish tutor, another asks me if I know any good parties this week.
The point of this challenge wasn't to master direct game, it was to develop confidence. However I seriously like direct game during the day now, it either has them run off and you dont waste your time or else it's instantly on within the first minute!
So final result? 10 sets, 2 nothing, 2 myspace/facebook, 7 phone numbers (one girl gave me her number and myspace)!
Gonna start challenge 2 tomorrow.
So what was the very first challenge for myself to become a true MPUA? 10 sets, during the day, on my college campus, going fully direct. Nothing short of that would push me to being the confident guy I know I could be.
Many guys advocate doing silly things like opening a set by doing push ups in front of them. This is good for building confidence it's true however you're able to hide behind the social mask of doing something silly. With direct opening you go in sincere and putting it all on the line....to me this is much scarier.
Here's what I said verbatim.
"Hey excuse me didn't mean to bother you but I'm kind of in a hurry since I'm late for my class. I just wanted to tell you something otherwise I'd be kicking myself all day. You are absolutely gorgeous and have this interesting look that I don't see here that often. (Introduce myself and get her name). What would be the best way to stay in touch with you?"
Now I went out onto my campus with the exact words written down on a little cheat sheet and I'm not going to lie...I was pretty scared. I was seeing reasons not to approach for every set and making excuses left and right. This was EXACTLY the type of fear that would get in my way if I saw my dream girl and wanted to approach immediately.
However after every set that walked by or that I passed up I became more and more angry with myself. Fear turned into cold resolve, and like a wriggling mass of jello, I walked up to my very first set and delivered the line. What happened?....
She looked scared as hell. The poor girl looked like she wanted to run away and her friend came and saved her. I noticed something though...I had instant state. Every single fear I had before was completely gone, better then that, I felt amazing! I go for set number 2 and again I get that fear response but I push past it and end up getting her facebook and an invite to a concert she does.
From then on every set I open becomes better then the last. I say the exact same line but now from a place of pure happiness and confidence. I go in relaxed and warm as opposed to my old jello ways. Next thing I know I'm having women blushing and giggiling giving me their number, one offers to be my spanish tutor, another asks me if I know any good parties this week.
The point of this challenge wasn't to master direct game, it was to develop confidence. However I seriously like direct game during the day now, it either has them run off and you dont waste your time or else it's instantly on within the first minute!
So final result? 10 sets, 2 nothing, 2 myspace/facebook, 7 phone numbers (one girl gave me her number and myspace)!
Gonna start challenge 2 tomorrow.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Psych's Progression to Mastery
I've decided if I'm gonna be teaching this stuff I need to really master it and take my game to a new level.
Last night I went out with a lot of community guys and felt really unmotivated, the fire and drive just wasn't there anymore. I realized it's because I've taken to much of a teacher role and not a student role anymore. Both need to be there for me since the student role is my drive and what pushes me to get better.
From now on I'm gonna go out and challenge myself to various things and record my progress here. We'll see where this takes me.
Last night I went out with a lot of community guys and felt really unmotivated, the fire and drive just wasn't there anymore. I realized it's because I've taken to much of a teacher role and not a student role anymore. Both need to be there for me since the student role is my drive and what pushes me to get better.
From now on I'm gonna go out and challenge myself to various things and record my progress here. We'll see where this takes me.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Situational Value
It still astounds me the power that situational value has and how even I can go back and forth between the two spectrums. Some guys claim to have such solid inner game that it doesn't matter to them and there massive internal value will shine through but I've never truly seen this to be the case. What I have noticed is that we influence our enviornment and in turn our enviornment influences us.
Now we DO have complete control of our internal state and can learn things such as being in the moment, being unreactive, staying positive, and having indifference. It's hard but possible. However we only have limited control over our external value since it's largely controlled by five factors, only one of which being our internal state. Situation, social value, momentum theory, social role, and our state/energy.
Each of these five factors have influence on your situational value and there are 4 steps you can take when you're on the negative side of the spectrum so you don't have a horrible night. When you find yourself on the negative side, with low situational value due to some, or all, of the five factors being negative, here's the 4 steps you can take.
1. Use game to quickly turn as many of the negative 5 factors into positive factors.
2. When you can't change enough, or any factors, become unreactive to them until it might change naturally.
3. Leave the situation
4. Accept the situation
With step one recognize and avoid bad situations, gain social proof and preselection for social value, try and start off everything postive so that the momentum is in the right direction or kill negative momentum early, build a high value social role for yourself with people, and keep a fun postive energy. Keeping these things in check is something you should do from the start, however at times it can be outside your control.
What if you're forced in a bad situation? What if you can't build social value for yourself right now? What if your neck deep already in negative momentum and it feels impossible to turn around? What if you're force framed into a certain social role you don't like? Or what if you just feel down and out of state?
Well step two is try and remain unreactive until something changes. You basically tried to influence the enviornment first but that didn't work...now maybe the enviornment will influence itself and things will turn around. If time has gone by and things still aren't going well then it's time to leave. Go check out another club or find a second option for yourself. This is what I've seen the best guys do, they will make sure they are never in a bad situation for themselves and if they are in one they will attempt to change it around by focusing on the five factors. After that they simply leave and make a new and better situation. If you really can't leave for some reason then just accept it and observe. Detatch yourself from it all and accept the night or situation sucks and simply observe it.
On a very broad scale these factors are what game is all about! Knowing how to create social value is the outer game and your state/energy is the inner game. After this it's just about choosing the right situations for yourself (unless pushing your comfort zone which helps you handle different situations), starting off strong and respecting momentum theory, and managing high value social roles (btw your social role is built through time so the more you know someone the more solid your social role becomes).
-Jarett aka Psych
Now we DO have complete control of our internal state and can learn things such as being in the moment, being unreactive, staying positive, and having indifference. It's hard but possible. However we only have limited control over our external value since it's largely controlled by five factors, only one of which being our internal state. Situation, social value, momentum theory, social role, and our state/energy.
Each of these five factors have influence on your situational value and there are 4 steps you can take when you're on the negative side of the spectrum so you don't have a horrible night. When you find yourself on the negative side, with low situational value due to some, or all, of the five factors being negative, here's the 4 steps you can take.
1. Use game to quickly turn as many of the negative 5 factors into positive factors.
2. When you can't change enough, or any factors, become unreactive to them until it might change naturally.
3. Leave the situation
4. Accept the situation
With step one recognize and avoid bad situations, gain social proof and preselection for social value, try and start off everything postive so that the momentum is in the right direction or kill negative momentum early, build a high value social role for yourself with people, and keep a fun postive energy. Keeping these things in check is something you should do from the start, however at times it can be outside your control.
What if you're forced in a bad situation? What if you can't build social value for yourself right now? What if your neck deep already in negative momentum and it feels impossible to turn around? What if you're force framed into a certain social role you don't like? Or what if you just feel down and out of state?
Well step two is try and remain unreactive until something changes. You basically tried to influence the enviornment first but that didn't work...now maybe the enviornment will influence itself and things will turn around. If time has gone by and things still aren't going well then it's time to leave. Go check out another club or find a second option for yourself. This is what I've seen the best guys do, they will make sure they are never in a bad situation for themselves and if they are in one they will attempt to change it around by focusing on the five factors. After that they simply leave and make a new and better situation. If you really can't leave for some reason then just accept it and observe. Detatch yourself from it all and accept the night or situation sucks and simply observe it.
On a very broad scale these factors are what game is all about! Knowing how to create social value is the outer game and your state/energy is the inner game. After this it's just about choosing the right situations for yourself (unless pushing your comfort zone which helps you handle different situations), starting off strong and respecting momentum theory, and managing high value social roles (btw your social role is built through time so the more you know someone the more solid your social role becomes).
-Jarett aka Psych
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The Movie Moments
Many guys are in this game for different reasons. Some want to add hundreds of notches to their bedpost...some want to find their dream girl. Some just think it's cool and want to have the "power"...and some simply have no answer. I've fallen into all these categories at one point or another in the quest to see what truly drives me and why I'm in this game.
My answer? Because I want the movie moments. I want the adventure of the unknown and to have my life something that someone could write a book about or make a movie on. I crave the moments where I think "OMG is this REALLY happening...this is incredible". Even when things go bad and I think "OMG is this REALLY happening...this is horrible" it still is an experience that adds to the movie of my life. That's my one big comfort no matter how bad things get....the bad just makes the good that much better.
I look where I came from, a guy who stayed in every weekend playing Magic the Gathering by himself, to where I am now and it's INSANE! My reality has been shattered countlessly and I love it.
Just recently I was in Atlanta at an upscale hotel party swimming in a pool with 4 gorgeous girls chasing me around and was staying in the hotel room with one of them. The entire party I could see the jealousy in every guy's eyes and was being checked out by every girl...some creepy guys even filmed me in awe. I remember a moment where I looked around seeing the beautiful buildings lit up and where I was and thought "OMG...THIS is my life". For many guys nights like that happen a few times in a lifetime if ever. However I've already had countless experiences like this. Here's an exerpt from a recent LR.
So we're walking along the docks and I see this green thing floating in the water...I tell her I have a crazy idea and untie one side and pull the green floating thing in with the other. It turns out it was a floating mini golf course! I hop on, and with some convincing, get her to come on and then push ourselves off onto the water with our makeshift raft, only having a thin rope keeping us tied to the dock We start looking at stars and just lying there and then begin to make out hardcore and go at it...definately a moment where you think "damn is this really happening?"
These kind of movie moments don't always have to centered around women though. Traveling is huge and something I plan to spend a lot of my life doing. Also trying new things to develop a lifestyle gives you these moments.
The point is I see so many of my friends who are stuck in the same patterns and do nothing for themselves. There idea of adventure is going out to get drunk. When they get together they retell the same stories over and over back from highschool because nothing exciting has really happened since.
However you need to go out and make these moments happen. You need to take risks and be willing to have the bad moments. Do you want to look back at your life and remember all the crazy things you've done and have stories that many wouldn't even believe...or do you want to feel regret for wasting the time you had?
I know my reason for being in this game, do you?
-Jarett aka Psych
My answer? Because I want the movie moments. I want the adventure of the unknown and to have my life something that someone could write a book about or make a movie on. I crave the moments where I think "OMG is this REALLY happening...this is incredible". Even when things go bad and I think "OMG is this REALLY happening...this is horrible" it still is an experience that adds to the movie of my life. That's my one big comfort no matter how bad things get....the bad just makes the good that much better.
I look where I came from, a guy who stayed in every weekend playing Magic the Gathering by himself, to where I am now and it's INSANE! My reality has been shattered countlessly and I love it.
Just recently I was in Atlanta at an upscale hotel party swimming in a pool with 4 gorgeous girls chasing me around and was staying in the hotel room with one of them. The entire party I could see the jealousy in every guy's eyes and was being checked out by every girl...some creepy guys even filmed me in awe. I remember a moment where I looked around seeing the beautiful buildings lit up and where I was and thought "OMG...THIS is my life". For many guys nights like that happen a few times in a lifetime if ever. However I've already had countless experiences like this. Here's an exerpt from a recent LR.
So we're walking along the docks and I see this green thing floating in the water...I tell her I have a crazy idea and untie one side and pull the green floating thing in with the other. It turns out it was a floating mini golf course! I hop on, and with some convincing, get her to come on and then push ourselves off onto the water with our makeshift raft, only having a thin rope keeping us tied to the dock We start looking at stars and just lying there and then begin to make out hardcore and go at it...definately a moment where you think "damn is this really happening?"
These kind of movie moments don't always have to centered around women though. Traveling is huge and something I plan to spend a lot of my life doing. Also trying new things to develop a lifestyle gives you these moments.
The point is I see so many of my friends who are stuck in the same patterns and do nothing for themselves. There idea of adventure is going out to get drunk. When they get together they retell the same stories over and over back from highschool because nothing exciting has really happened since.
However you need to go out and make these moments happen. You need to take risks and be willing to have the bad moments. Do you want to look back at your life and remember all the crazy things you've done and have stories that many wouldn't even believe...or do you want to feel regret for wasting the time you had?
I know my reason for being in this game, do you?
-Jarett aka Psych
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The Best Tool in Pick Up
Ok well maybe the second best...the BEST tool would have to be a condom which you should have on you every time.
However other then that the best tool for Pick Up is...drum roll please....the CAMERA.
Many people when given this question will sometimes say a pen and paper (or buisness card) but in reality, with skilled application, the camera will win hands down every time. Also note by camera I mean a digital camera where you can see the pictures right away.
What makes it so special? Well first of all it allows for quickly getting in close and helps break possible kino barriers, such as putting your arm around her waist. Or making multiple other forms of kino socially acceptable...
It's also fun and builds comfort to look at pictures that the two of you take together and can be easily used to break rapport and tease her. You can incorprate role playing into it by taking "bad ass" pictures
goofy faced pictures
pictures of her kissing your cheek.
and of course sexy pictures...
Other benefits are actually for working the room and not so much the girl. This is what many refer to as flash game. When you're in the club and you take a picture of yourself with a hot girl, or two, or three...lol, the flash has everyone look over and guess what every girl in the club will see. Instant pre-selection. It makes you the center of attention and the party...since girls are validated by attention (men are validated through physicality) and want to be with the party they'll naturally gravitate to you!
If you're identity is that of a photographer it's obviously a great way to ground yourself to the girl and bring her into your world. Finally the camera can be used in any stage of the PU.
One of my best default openers involves the camera. I go up to the girl and tell her to take a picture of me and my friends, once she does (social norms demand it) I can then tease her LIGHTLY to break rapport or reward her for compliance and build comfort. Then I'll usually build comfort a bit and take a picture with her to help with attraction.
You can also use the camera in qualification by having her pose for you while you take a picture, either with you and her or just her. By having her try to look good for the picture she invests and works for you, also you take a high value role by telling her what to do and leading the interaction. Finally when it's all said and done you take an approval role letting her know what you think of the picture which solidifies the attraction. Having a digital camera that also can record video is definately a bonus as well. As for sexual escalation and the bedroom...well use your imagination ;)
-Jarett aka Psych
P.S.- Should a girl ever open you by asking you to take a picture of her and her friends (always a good sign!) a great little trick is to get them ready and posing and then take a picture of yourself with THEIR camera! This will get a laugh and then you can take a picture of them, after that you can optionally have some other guy take a picture of you and all the girls (remember flash game).
P.S.S- If anyone has other fun ideas on how to use a camera in field make sure and post a comment!
However other then that the best tool for Pick Up is...drum roll please....the CAMERA.
Many people when given this question will sometimes say a pen and paper (or buisness card) but in reality, with skilled application, the camera will win hands down every time. Also note by camera I mean a digital camera where you can see the pictures right away.
What makes it so special? Well first of all it allows for quickly getting in close and helps break possible kino barriers, such as putting your arm around her waist. Or making multiple other forms of kino socially acceptable...
It's also fun and builds comfort to look at pictures that the two of you take together and can be easily used to break rapport and tease her. You can incorprate role playing into it by taking "bad ass" pictures
goofy faced pictures
pictures of her kissing your cheek.
and of course sexy pictures...
Other benefits are actually for working the room and not so much the girl. This is what many refer to as flash game. When you're in the club and you take a picture of yourself with a hot girl, or two, or three...lol, the flash has everyone look over and guess what every girl in the club will see. Instant pre-selection. It makes you the center of attention and the party...since girls are validated by attention (men are validated through physicality) and want to be with the party they'll naturally gravitate to you!
If you're identity is that of a photographer it's obviously a great way to ground yourself to the girl and bring her into your world. Finally the camera can be used in any stage of the PU.
One of my best default openers involves the camera. I go up to the girl and tell her to take a picture of me and my friends, once she does (social norms demand it) I can then tease her LIGHTLY to break rapport or reward her for compliance and build comfort. Then I'll usually build comfort a bit and take a picture with her to help with attraction.
You can also use the camera in qualification by having her pose for you while you take a picture, either with you and her or just her. By having her try to look good for the picture she invests and works for you, also you take a high value role by telling her what to do and leading the interaction. Finally when it's all said and done you take an approval role letting her know what you think of the picture which solidifies the attraction. Having a digital camera that also can record video is definately a bonus as well. As for sexual escalation and the bedroom...well use your imagination ;)
-Jarett aka Psych
P.S.- Should a girl ever open you by asking you to take a picture of her and her friends (always a good sign!) a great little trick is to get them ready and posing and then take a picture of yourself with THEIR camera! This will get a laugh and then you can take a picture of them, after that you can optionally have some other guy take a picture of you and all the girls (remember flash game).
P.S.S- If anyone has other fun ideas on how to use a camera in field make sure and post a comment!
Monday, August 4, 2008
The Fundamentals
The best way to start off this blog is by touching upon the fundamentals of game. To often do newbie and even intermediate guys focus on advanced concepts and ideas that either do nothing for them, or else make them seem weird without the fundamentals.
In fact I suggest that all guys, including advanced, touch back on the fundamentals and make sure that they are either improving or not getting worse. This is a practice I do often actually. So exactly what are the fundamentals of game? I've thought about this and came up with the following...
-Body Language
-Tonality
-Eye Contact
-Light Kino (or touch) that isn't creepy
-Vibing
-Being NORMAL
If you lack any of these six things then any other form of game is a complete waste of time. These six things make up the cake, the rest of game is the icing and decorating. Without the icing you might have a mediocre cake but with only the icing you don't even have a cake. So lets break down each of these six things to get you started.
1. Body Language
In my mind there are two levels to Body Language. First thing to learn is the "Alpha" Body Language. Basically taking up space, chest out, chin up, back straight ect ect. There are countless articles and exercises out there to develop this, from the Alexander Technique to imagining a string running down your spine. The idea is to give off a dominant and powerful masculine energy that portrays confidence. Your nonverbal signs are 93% of your communication, your actual words being only 7%.
Now keep in mind that with all new skill sets in game you're going to go overboard with everything and overdo it...this is actually a GOOD thing because you can only calibrate what's appropriate by doing to much of something and then balancing it. If it's not to much then you're not pushing yourself and if it's been to much for a while then you need to learn to tone it back down again.
The second level to learn once the first is down is how to relax. You don't want to be the guy who constantly has to look like superman and is always caught on the idea of looking alpha. It's time to relax your shoulders and develop more fluid carefree motions. The most powerful form of body language is looking completely at ease and comfortable in your own skin, again without it seeming try hard though. Later on once these are down you can learn more advanced body language for particular situations such as opening, rapport building, sexual, take away's ect ect.
2. Tonality
This is by far one of the hardest to learn with the exception of "being normal" for some people. Speaking clearly without mumbling, talking in a loud and crisp voice, getting rid of any kind of stutter or pause fillers such as "uh" "um" "you know" "like" or anything similar. Your voice should also be animated and lively, if you have a monotonous voice then anything you say will be boring and people will not pay attention to you. Always try and speak from your diaphragm which is located between your chest and stomach, being nasal is the most unattractive voice quality. Finally as a guy having a deep voice will always help and it should sound strong and masculine. This is actually where I could still develop the furthest out of the six fundamentals and will probably take vocal lessons to improve my tonality, that's how serious it is.
3. Eye Contact
Again there are two levels for this one. The first is basic eye contact where you are simply able to hold someones gaze, especially a girls. You shouldn't be staring but instead be relaxed by it and give almost a curious energy through your eyes. Looking at her tits or ass will be doom for you, unless it's done in an advanced way but again we're focusing on the cake not the icing, and I even had a girl shit test me one time on this. I was on a date and the girl had double D tits and began jumping up and down in front of me acting happy. The entire time I kept my eyes locked on hers while smirking and finally she stopped and looked at me and said "very good".
Keep in mind the eyes can betray submissiveness by darting your eyes away or especially by looking down. Once this is mastered then the second level would be sexual eye contact. This is hard to explain in words but it's basically looking at a girl with your full desire for her being expressed through your eyes. It takes great confidence and nonverbally puts everything out on the table. With sexual eye contact you are still looking into her eyes and should have what's called "laser eyes" where you maintain eye contact completely. With sexual eye contact even if she looks away your eyes should be focused on hers, this is not staring or being creepy about it though and can often be misinterpreted through writing. Best way to learn this is by watching movies and observing the actors eyes before he kisses the girl or even better going out in field and observing a natural. When you see a natural with a girl watch the way he looks at her and see if you can tell his strong sexual intent for her just from his eyes, if you can then you're seeing it done right.
4. Light Kino
Many guys in field have one of the two problems. Either they can't muster the courage to even touch a girl in any way or else they are incredibly aggressive and creep the girl out with uncomfortable kino. If you're the first you MUST get over this and begin touching the girl. You should actually be touching not just her but everyone, even guys! Pats on the shoulder, elbow touches, light hand holds, upper back and the such. Basically if a guy can't get light touch going how in the world does he expect to get sexual touching going. Also the longer you are in an interaction with a girl and not touching her the more precedent you set for NOT touching her and when you finally do it will be much more awkward and uncomfortable. This doesn't mean you have to touch RIGHT from the approach, although you can, but definitely within the first 2-3 minutes.
For the aggressive guy just tone it down. This guy is definitely better then the first but women will often find you creepy. The reason for aggressive touching early on is either being drunk, way to sexual and horny, or trying to be "alpha". If it's the first then drink less or not at all. If it's the second then really just try and control yourself, keep in mind that if you control yourself now you'll be able to get all the touching you want later. For the third guy he needs to get over the idea of being so "alpha" and tone it down, if your aggressive kino hasn't been working why not try it another way?
5. Vibing
This is basically being able to hold a normal and pleasant conversation without any motive. Can you talk with a girl comfortably about anything and engage in what is called "fluff talk"? If not then even though you have all these cool attraction routines and interesting stories she'll become uncomfortable with you or else never see you as a real person. Vibing helps build familiarity and is a way to show that you're normal (see number 6). Point blank if you can't talk to a girl normally then how do you expect to talk to her in a way that makes her attracted to you? To practice this begin conversations with everyone and see how long you can keep it flowing while talking about every day things. Chances are though you already know how to vibe. Think of your conversations with your best friend or family member, pretty easy going and normal without an agenda. The idea is to duplicate that with a stranger and the best way I've seen is by assuming rapport and just talking to her as relaxed as possible without any investment or care in the interaction.
6. Being NORMAL
This is the hardest to teach for those trying to learn. Many guys who come into this community are straight up weird and then begin learning advanced attraction material which makes them MORE weird. No matter how much theory or routines you know if you can't be normal with a girl she will see through you and want nothing to do with you. Some weirdness is OK though and shows individuality...it can be cute quirks to a personality. However for the most part you want to be a normal fun guy. Without that as the backbone of your game then NOTHING will work. The best way to develop being normal is to engage in a bunch of different activities so that you're thrown in social settings. Also developing social circles is EXTREMELY useful. You should have social circles of normal cool guys (not the D&D buddies sorry) as well as social circles of attractive girls. It's OK to be in the friend zone, you WANT female friends. You will not become normal though by spending all your time discussing game with community guys or have the only idea of social interactions be from your nights of sarging. Also developing a sense of humor will help tremendously.
Alright so those are the fundamentals and I suggest everyone, no matter what your skill level is, to look into at least one of these things and try and improve it. These are all seriously the frames that hold up your game and if one should weaken due to lack of attention or development then it will all come down.
-Jarett aka Psych
In fact I suggest that all guys, including advanced, touch back on the fundamentals and make sure that they are either improving or not getting worse. This is a practice I do often actually. So exactly what are the fundamentals of game? I've thought about this and came up with the following...
-Body Language
-Tonality
-Eye Contact
-Light Kino (or touch) that isn't creepy
-Vibing
-Being NORMAL
If you lack any of these six things then any other form of game is a complete waste of time. These six things make up the cake, the rest of game is the icing and decorating. Without the icing you might have a mediocre cake but with only the icing you don't even have a cake. So lets break down each of these six things to get you started.
1. Body Language
In my mind there are two levels to Body Language. First thing to learn is the "Alpha" Body Language. Basically taking up space, chest out, chin up, back straight ect ect. There are countless articles and exercises out there to develop this, from the Alexander Technique to imagining a string running down your spine. The idea is to give off a dominant and powerful masculine energy that portrays confidence. Your nonverbal signs are 93% of your communication, your actual words being only 7%.
Now keep in mind that with all new skill sets in game you're going to go overboard with everything and overdo it...this is actually a GOOD thing because you can only calibrate what's appropriate by doing to much of something and then balancing it. If it's not to much then you're not pushing yourself and if it's been to much for a while then you need to learn to tone it back down again.
The second level to learn once the first is down is how to relax. You don't want to be the guy who constantly has to look like superman and is always caught on the idea of looking alpha. It's time to relax your shoulders and develop more fluid carefree motions. The most powerful form of body language is looking completely at ease and comfortable in your own skin, again without it seeming try hard though. Later on once these are down you can learn more advanced body language for particular situations such as opening, rapport building, sexual, take away's ect ect.
2. Tonality
This is by far one of the hardest to learn with the exception of "being normal" for some people. Speaking clearly without mumbling, talking in a loud and crisp voice, getting rid of any kind of stutter or pause fillers such as "uh" "um" "you know" "like" or anything similar. Your voice should also be animated and lively, if you have a monotonous voice then anything you say will be boring and people will not pay attention to you. Always try and speak from your diaphragm which is located between your chest and stomach, being nasal is the most unattractive voice quality. Finally as a guy having a deep voice will always help and it should sound strong and masculine. This is actually where I could still develop the furthest out of the six fundamentals and will probably take vocal lessons to improve my tonality, that's how serious it is.
3. Eye Contact
Again there are two levels for this one. The first is basic eye contact where you are simply able to hold someones gaze, especially a girls. You shouldn't be staring but instead be relaxed by it and give almost a curious energy through your eyes. Looking at her tits or ass will be doom for you, unless it's done in an advanced way but again we're focusing on the cake not the icing, and I even had a girl shit test me one time on this. I was on a date and the girl had double D tits and began jumping up and down in front of me acting happy. The entire time I kept my eyes locked on hers while smirking and finally she stopped and looked at me and said "very good".
Keep in mind the eyes can betray submissiveness by darting your eyes away or especially by looking down. Once this is mastered then the second level would be sexual eye contact. This is hard to explain in words but it's basically looking at a girl with your full desire for her being expressed through your eyes. It takes great confidence and nonverbally puts everything out on the table. With sexual eye contact you are still looking into her eyes and should have what's called "laser eyes" where you maintain eye contact completely. With sexual eye contact even if she looks away your eyes should be focused on hers, this is not staring or being creepy about it though and can often be misinterpreted through writing. Best way to learn this is by watching movies and observing the actors eyes before he kisses the girl or even better going out in field and observing a natural. When you see a natural with a girl watch the way he looks at her and see if you can tell his strong sexual intent for her just from his eyes, if you can then you're seeing it done right.
4. Light Kino
Many guys in field have one of the two problems. Either they can't muster the courage to even touch a girl in any way or else they are incredibly aggressive and creep the girl out with uncomfortable kino. If you're the first you MUST get over this and begin touching the girl. You should actually be touching not just her but everyone, even guys! Pats on the shoulder, elbow touches, light hand holds, upper back and the such. Basically if a guy can't get light touch going how in the world does he expect to get sexual touching going. Also the longer you are in an interaction with a girl and not touching her the more precedent you set for NOT touching her and when you finally do it will be much more awkward and uncomfortable. This doesn't mean you have to touch RIGHT from the approach, although you can, but definitely within the first 2-3 minutes.
For the aggressive guy just tone it down. This guy is definitely better then the first but women will often find you creepy. The reason for aggressive touching early on is either being drunk, way to sexual and horny, or trying to be "alpha". If it's the first then drink less or not at all. If it's the second then really just try and control yourself, keep in mind that if you control yourself now you'll be able to get all the touching you want later. For the third guy he needs to get over the idea of being so "alpha" and tone it down, if your aggressive kino hasn't been working why not try it another way?
5. Vibing
This is basically being able to hold a normal and pleasant conversation without any motive. Can you talk with a girl comfortably about anything and engage in what is called "fluff talk"? If not then even though you have all these cool attraction routines and interesting stories she'll become uncomfortable with you or else never see you as a real person. Vibing helps build familiarity and is a way to show that you're normal (see number 6). Point blank if you can't talk to a girl normally then how do you expect to talk to her in a way that makes her attracted to you? To practice this begin conversations with everyone and see how long you can keep it flowing while talking about every day things. Chances are though you already know how to vibe. Think of your conversations with your best friend or family member, pretty easy going and normal without an agenda. The idea is to duplicate that with a stranger and the best way I've seen is by assuming rapport and just talking to her as relaxed as possible without any investment or care in the interaction.
6. Being NORMAL
This is the hardest to teach for those trying to learn. Many guys who come into this community are straight up weird and then begin learning advanced attraction material which makes them MORE weird. No matter how much theory or routines you know if you can't be normal with a girl she will see through you and want nothing to do with you. Some weirdness is OK though and shows individuality...it can be cute quirks to a personality. However for the most part you want to be a normal fun guy. Without that as the backbone of your game then NOTHING will work. The best way to develop being normal is to engage in a bunch of different activities so that you're thrown in social settings. Also developing social circles is EXTREMELY useful. You should have social circles of normal cool guys (not the D&D buddies sorry) as well as social circles of attractive girls. It's OK to be in the friend zone, you WANT female friends. You will not become normal though by spending all your time discussing game with community guys or have the only idea of social interactions be from your nights of sarging. Also developing a sense of humor will help tremendously.
Alright so those are the fundamentals and I suggest everyone, no matter what your skill level is, to look into at least one of these things and try and improve it. These are all seriously the frames that hold up your game and if one should weaken due to lack of attention or development then it will all come down.
-Jarett aka Psych
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